Our 5 Tips for Keeping the Spark Alive—10 Years & 2 Kids Later.
We’ve been together for ten years. We’ve had two kids.
And somehow…
the spark still feels fresh.
It’s not because we’re perfect.
Or because we have endless time or energy.
It’s because we’ve learned—over time, through trial and effort—to be intentional.
About our connection.
About our intimacy.
Here are five quiet, unspoken things that have kept us close—not performative, not idealized, just real love, nurtured with purpose.
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1. We never say no to sex.
But we never force it either. Even when we’re tired, touched-out, or overwhelmed.
We may adjust how, but our default is to stay open—to intimacy, to each other, to connection.
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2. We’re clear about what we like—and what we don’t.
There’s no second-guessing. No silent tolerating.
We make space for honest, loving, judgment-free conversations about sex.
And that space has made all the difference.
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3. We give each other full permission to fantasize—about anything.
We stay curious. We stay open.
And we actually talk about what turns us on—without shame, without fear.
Bold, vulnerable desires aren’t met with discomfort. They’re met with respect, trust, and support.
Making love while watching porn together has helped us explore our turn-ons and deepen both our physical and emotional connection.
Yes, really.
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4. Intimacy for us is more about giving than just receiving.
Our focus is always each other.
When we aim to please, we both feel more pleasure—in every way.
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5. Sex toys are our allies.
They don’t get in the way of connection—they amplify it.
They add variety. Playfulness. Curiosity.
They’ve helped us explore desires we didn’t even know were there.
And maybe the biggest surprise of all?
After exploring so much together, returning to the basics—no toys, no extras, just us—feels even more electric.
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Because when our shared goal is to give and explore together, it’s no longer:
“How do we bring back the spark?”
It becomes:
“How much more fun can we have together?”
